Here is a thought provoking conversation from the March 13 2012 FRESH AIR, interview with Terry Gross. Her guest, Viola Davis, was nominated for an Oscar for her performance in “The Help.”

I just love the distinction Viola Davis makes about being “expansive” vs “glamorous” – Just that one part of the interview inspired me to feel into where in my own life I can strive for expansive, instead of glamour. As if “expansive” bears more depth and breadth. I so feel that today, these times are a calling for women to deepen. I feel this for myself.

Also, I love that she talks honestly about the role of black women in entertainment, diversity, etc…

You can hear the entire compelling interview on NPR online along with the transcript.

DAVIS: Well, you know, that’s – that is another conversation in and of itself…

GROSS: What’s the conversation?

DAVIS: Well, the conversation is how people see me. I can go into an audition, with my makeup and my hair and my lashes and come out with these roles that you say I have.

Which goes into the area of perception, and how people perceive black women of a certain hue, and when I say certain hue, I mean black women who are darker than a paper bag. And I’m a dark-skinned black woman who is 46 years old. And I don’t know about you, but when I go to see movies,

I don’t see a lot of women like me in glamorous roles. Not in any mainstream movies, I don’t see them.

I don’t see a lot of narratives written in roles where a woman who looks like me gets to be beautiful and sexualized and, I don’t know, upwardly mobile, middle-class, funny, quirky. No, it…

GROSS: Are you getting any more of that now or do you think those roles just don’t exist?

DAVIS: I’m seeking them out. I’m seeking out expansive roles. Not so much glamorous roles. Because just because a role is glamorous doesn’t mean it’s good. I’m looking for more expansive story lines, that’s for sure.

GROSS: Mm-hmm.

DAVIS: And there may be a role or two in there that makes me look more attractive, per se, but it is up to me to seek those out myself. They are not necessarily roles that mainstream Hollywood would necessarily just finance and produce themselves. They wouldn’t. You have to be the instigator. You have to be the catalyst of change. You just do.

Jessica Hadari – Founder of FEM Talks | Conscious Copywriter | Event Producer & Consultant | Officiant

My love is watching people transform in the arenas of relationships, communication and personal growth. I lead women’s circles and immensely enjoy leading and producing  fun gatherings and workshops. I am passionate about empowerment of women expressing ALL emotions in ways that serve their lives and their loved ones.

In my “other life” I am a Mom, master yoga teacher, master rebirther, holistic health practitioner, unconditional friend and nearly-fearless voice of reason in the Bay Area women’s communities.

JessicaHadari.com

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Three women winners will each win:

“12 Month Pass Package” to FEM Talks, 2nd Monday of each month, live in Berkeley (valued at $400)

If you have been wanting a pass for yourself or as a gift for a friend, now is the perfect time. The deadline for entering is April 30th. Click here to enter the giveaway now. Good luck ladies! This giveaway is in honor of our commitment to the “BLING it On! Womens Party + Cancer Center Fundraiser” – May 6th, Berkeley. 

The package includes:

— Free 12 month pass to FEM Talks for a whole year! (300~)
— One “Friend Pass” (25~) Bring a friend, she gets in free to one FEM Talks evening!
— Free publicity table (75~) at any one upcoming FEM Talks evening – with a table you can announce your business offerings in front of the room live -PLUS- a video cameo of you & your website is featured on the event video.

Giveaway ends Sunday, April 30, 2012 @ 11:59pm Pacific Time. We’ll pick three winners via a random number generator. We’ll also contact the three winners and announce the winners on Facebook.

You must be in the San Francisco Bay Area to win this giveaway.

Good luck!

- How to Enter -

1. All you have to do is helps spread the word on Facebook about the “BLING it On! Womens Party + Cancer Center Fundraiser” – May 6th Berkeley.

~ Make sure to include the link to the event page in your share: http://bit.ly/BlingEvent

~ Make sure to leave a comment (at bottom of this page) letting us know you did this!!

Here’s an example you can copy:
Join me for “BLING it On! Womens Party + Cancer Center Fundraiser” — Sunday May 6th in Berkeley. Bay Area women’s groups are teaming for the East Bay Women’s Cancer Resource Center! Women ages 7 – 107 are invited. Co-power this party with us & have a blast — Enjoy a * Craft Party | Costume Blinging Extravaganza | Fashion Show | Dance Party | Diva Silent Auction * — http://bit.ly/BlingEvent

100% of proceeds for this event will go directly to the East Bay Women’s Cancer Resource Center (WCRC.org)

That’s all! Now you’re entered!

- Make sure to leave a comment (at bottom of this page) letting us know you did this!! -

- Additional Bonus Entries! -

You get multiple chances to win! Just make sure you leave a comment (at bottom) for EACH individual entry item so that you are entered multiple times (e.g. if you partake in 5 items, you will leave 5 comments below)

2. Register to attend the BLING it On! Womens Party + Cancer Center Fundraiser (Sunday May 6th in Berkeley) -&- sign up for a volunteer role: http://bit.ly/BlingEvent

* Leave a comment (below) letting us know you did this

3. RSVP as “yes!” on our “BLING it On! Womens Party + Cancer Center Fundraiser” Facebook event page Leave a friendly comment on the Facebook event wall (optional: invite some women-friends directly to the event while you’re there)

* Leave a comment (below) letting us know you did this.

4. Follow FEM Talks on Twitter: @FEM_Talks and then Tweet about the May 6th BLING it On! Womens Party + Cancer Center Fundraiser. Be sure to include: “ @FEM_Talks “ & “ http://bit.ly/BlingEvent “ in your tweet!

* Leave a comment (below) letting us know you did it, including your twitter handle.

5. Share one of our recent blog posts on Facebook. (Each post has a “share” button at bottom.) 

* Leave a comment (here below) letting us know you did this.

6. “Like” our FEM Talks page on Facebook -&- leave a friendly comment on the page wall. 

* Leave a comment (below) letting us know you did this.

7. Sign up for the FEM Talks women’s events newsletter (We only send 1-2 emails per month about upcoming women’s events) 

* Leave a comment (below) letting us know you did this.

8. Have you attended a FEM Talks event? Do you have pleasant experiences you’d like to share? Leave a recommendation on either:
Yelp: bit.ly/FEMyelp
Meetup: meetup.com/FEM-Talks

* Leave a comment (below) letting us know you did this.

9. Spread the word about the giveaway on Facebook and include the giveaway link: http://bit.ly/FEMpassGift

* Leave a comment (below) letting us know you did this.

Each entry item above is a separate chance to win! Just make sure you leave a comment (at bottom) for EACH individual entry item so that you are entered multiple times (if you partake in 5 items, you will leave 5 comments below)

Thank you so much for your support! The giveaway ends on Sunday, April 30, 2012 at 11:59pm Pacific Time. We will pick a random winner via a number generator and announce the name the next day on the Facebook wall of the three women winners!

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Get your copy of Kerri’s ebook, Organic Reality! at www.kerrilake.com/anorganicreality.html and on Amazon/Kindle!

I am standing in the fine sand on the near bank of a broad, fat river that flows to my left, releasing into the ocean beneath a golden sunset. Lush tropical forest, pulsing with life adorns the land behind me and across the river. I am waiting.
An ancient crocodile appears to my right. He is as old as life, vibrant and enormous. I trust him completely. As e slides effortlessly into the water, our eyes meet, and he silently invites me to join him.

I step out onto the water beside him, my feet floating on the surface as we travel toward the far bank. We don’t speak. We don’t need to.

We both know our destination as if we’ve made this trip thousands of times before.

I walk up onto the sand. He emerges from the water and transforms into a man.

We pause for a moment and again look into each others’ eyes.

He is perfect for me in every way, reflecting my beauty, sincerity, kindness, compassion, gentleness, abundance and blessing.
We break our gaze and walk together, side-by-side, into the forest. We come upon a clearing that glows with energy An infinitely powerful light that can barely be seen emanates from the earth and travels upward to space. We feel the rhythm, harmonize with the rhythm of this life force and move into it. We step forward together with deep knowing that this is why we have come. As we merge with the light, we merge with each other. Our physical bodies blend into one ultimately radiant channel of pure energy, and our union becomes a unique new life.

New life streams toward the sky…

At a certain point, the upward flow stops and the energy bursts outward in all directions – an explosion and a giant umbrella of sparks illuminates the environment. Each spark travels the entire distance back to earth, and when it lands, becomes a unique new being.

I watch from the center of the clearing, now alone, as these new beings of every kingdom and species explore their new lives. They interact with each other, communicate, learn from and about each other and themselves. They grow and change.

Watching all of this new life evolve, I realize that each new being is me. Each individual, in some unique way, looks, feels and acts like me.

With this realization, I relax and smile. I remember the game.

I step out from the clearing, into the forest, and make my way to the nearest being, the nearest “me”.
I walk up and greet her, “You are me” I offer. “And I am you. I welcome you back into the whole – I invite you home.”

He walks boldly forward with innate grace and we offer ourselves to each other, blending into one more complete version of ourselves.

My game is to walk the earth, greet each being, each version of Myself and welcome her, him, it back to wholeness. I play my game with conscious intent. I become more complete.

As I encounter the final other being who lives on Mother Earth, I welcome her to wholeness and feel a rush of fulfilled life. This game is complete, and it is time to rest.

A grove of eternal redwood trees shelters me as I rest and experience completeness, the communion of all beings. I close my eyes and sleep. When I awake, I am standing in the fine sand on the near bank of a broad, flat river…waiting for the crocodile.
Kerri Lake Published in Species Link, Summer 2003

Kerri Lake is creating a haven for lightworkers and infinite beings. Eden In The tropics is a time and a place of rest, amplification and acceleration, the opposite of a retreat with restorative energy that feels like tapping into ‘home’! Her energy potently offers others the invitation to remember what it is to be healthy, whole and complete, to remember that maybe, just maybe, everything is okay and we get to have fun! Her passion is in teaching multidimensional communication by starting with recognizing where it’s already happening, offering private sessions, group events, harmonizing properties, animal communication, hands-on energetic transformation, and anything else you might want to bring up!  kerri (at) kerrilake.com

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That’s a direct quote from this very nice sheriff who stopped to say hello to me while I was in a moment of total indecision. I had a flight scheduled to go to Hawaii, but there I was, in my car, driving toward the desert from California. I suddenly was overwhelmed with this amazing panic that if I don’t go to Hawaii, I’m totally missing out, I’m blowing it, my whole dance with the universe and all of my flow will be swallowed into the black hole named “The Wrong Decision”. So, what action did I take in this moment of panic? I pulled over at an off/on ramp and sat still a moment while my body buzzed with the indecision of my mind. After a couple of minutes of freaky-crazy judgmental thoughts, my mind convinced me that the next best move would be to put my car in reverse and back up on the shoulder of the on-ramp to get to a place where I could turn around.

Brilliant. Hysterical. Oh my god…

So, there I am, backing up on the freeway! I’m laughing out loud as I’m typing this right now! My mind is thinking, “Okay. If I just back up to that last intersection, then I’ll have the choice of turning around or continuing on!” We’re talking a moment of total and complete irrational mind-control here!

I back up around the bend, and of course, there is a sheriff’s car pulling up behind me. Thank god, really, because that snapped me part of the way back into the present!

He walks up to my window and says, “Are you alright?”

“Yeah,” I tell him. “I’m in one of those moments of total indecision. You know, one of those moments…?” I smile like I think I know what I’m talking about.

“Uh-huh.” He’s a very patient Sheriff. “Well, once you’re on the freeway, you can’t back up.”

And I snapped straight back into the present moment. That was no sheriff. That was the universe talking to me through a man in a uniform that represents service to a greater good. Listen to what he said…once you’re on the freeway, you can’t back up! He wished me a safe journey and drove off.

I sat in a state of combined panic, awe, relaxation, love, trust and exhaustion. My mind was still wanting me to consider that my whole life will go to hell if I don’t go to Hawaii, and my body KNEW that I would continue driving south on the freeway. After all, I was already on the freeway. I can’t back up!

Never doubt your choices. Go forward into them, and keep going. If you need to change direction, there will be another exit in a couple of miles. If you don’t need to exit, turn up the music, open the sunroof and fly down the freeway! All that you need, especially those little reminders from the universe, will drive straight up to you, and when you need them the most, they’ll tap on the window and smile with compassion as you remember who you are and where you’re going.

Fly! Fly my pretties!

Kerri Lake is creating a haven for lightworkers and infinite beings. Eden In The tropics is a time and a place of rest, amplification and acceleration, the opposite of a retreat with restorative energy that feels like tapping into ‘home’! Her energy potently offers others the invitation to remember what it is to be healthy, whole and complete, to remember that maybe, just maybe, everything is okay and we get to have fun! Her passion is in teaching multidimensional communication by starting with recognizing where it’s already happening, offering private sessions, group events, harmonizing properties, animal communication, hands-on energetic transformation, and anything else you might want to bring up!  kerri (at) kerrilake.com

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I could be the poster child for workaholism. In my first job out of college—teaching American Government to high school seniors on Guam—I spent most of the day teaching, and nearly all my time outside of teaching on preparing for class or grading papers. I was a teacher 24/7. In probably the most telling workaholic move I made, I actually worked a second, part-time job taking pictures for dinner-cruise companies during my second year teaching, because somehow I thought that taking on more work would relieve me of being a workaholic! It did increase my income slightly, but people at my second job got used to seeing me grading tests or papers while I was waiting for the busses to arrive or the boats to return to dock.

I learned then, and in pretty much every job since, that if there’s work to do, I will do it. When I determine that work, as I did in teaching and I do in being self-employed, it becomes especially tricky to make sure I do not overdo things. Thus, I’ve come up with a 5-stage model for how to shift out of being overwhelmed and overworked, so we can stop feeling like we are reacting and always putting out fires and begin making more conscious choices, from a place of power, about how we spend our energy and time.

Stage 1: Realization

We first need to become aware that we are suffering and that we want to make a change in how we are living. Unfortunately, for most of us the pain has to get to a certain point before we are willing to make a change; sometimes we know we are overwhelmed but are not yet willing to do something about it. The cost of the way we are has not become greater than the perceived cost of making a change. We could prevent a lot of suffering if we took action before we got to the point where the cost is so great we have no other choice.

Stage 2: Exploration and Clarification

Once we know it’s time for a change, we can begin to explore where we are and where we would like to be. Exploration involves both taking a look at our lives as well as inquiring into what balance and imbalance mean to us, what they feel like in the body and how they manifest in our lives. In order to make better decisions about what we are doing, we clarify our mission, values, and goals, and allow these to be our guides in moving forward.

This stage also requires us to take a close look at our ideas about what it means to live in balance. Is balance a steady state? Is it as dichotomous as the “work-life balance” discussion would have us believe? What are the internal and external components of being in balance? When we arrive at a realistic and personal sense of what balance could be for us, then we can begin to design our lives in accordance.

Stage 3: Regulation and Modification

We’ve explored the ways that we feel out of harmony, so we begin to make adjustments. These adjustments can be made anywhere on the spectrum from the micro-level to the macro-level. Asking ourselves, “How in this very moment can I make a shift that will support me being more in harmony and balance?” or “What tiny change can I make in my morning routine that will create more spaciousness in my experience?” are ways to work in the short-term. We can also make changes in our weekly, monthly, and yearly schedules to ensure we are spending time doing those things that are most important to us. When we make these changes, we then assess how they went, and what we want to try next, modifying our choices slowly to see the effect on our experience.

Stage 4: Excavation

As soon as we begin to make changes, we will run into obstacles and blocks. Our resistance will show up, and we will notice the things we do that are directly counter to what we say we want. Though uncomfortable, this is actually a good place to be. It allows us to excavate, to find the unconscious beliefs and assumptions that are running us. If we don’t bring those into awareness, where we can work with them, then they can continue to undermine the very efforts we make toward what we say we want. This stage also allows us to look closely at where we can find support, which can counter our resistance and help us through our obstacles.

Stage 5: Visualization

As we go through the first four stages, we regain power through making more conscious choices. From a more grounded and centered place, we can then visualize more clearly into the future how we want to continue. Our energy is like water; it will always flow somewhere. If we don’t have a strong vision for it to flow into, it will flow into the default vision from our past. If this default vision is grounded in a state of overwhelm, that’s where our energy will continue to flow.

When you get support to go through these five stages, the result is a more poised and powerful you, aware of your tendencies around time and energy and able to more quickly make the shifts you need to bring yourself back into harmony. You can make workaholism and burnout a thing of the past, and enjoy everything you do more because you are aware of where it fits into the larger picture. In this way, you can live life more on your terms, knowing that you are moving confidently toward your dreams.

Julie Stiles is a Health and Transformation Coach and Certified Health Counselor. She is a graduate of the Institute for Integrative Nutrition, has an MA in Consciousness Studies from John F. Kennedy University, and is author of the forthcoming book Dying for Now: Living Your Transformative Journey.

Julie is currently offering the pilot of her program The Balance Blueprint for 90% off! Go from overwhelmed and overworked to poised and powerful, designing your life the way you want it to be. Register here: http://www.juliestilestraining.com/pilot_offer.html

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I have been meaning to share the answers that came through me, when I first applied to take part in the Zen Hospice Project in SF. The application itself was quite a journey. I treasure what the application stirred up in me.

I chose to not include the “questions themselves” – each paragraph below, though is an individual answer to the in-depth and provocative questions that are on the Zen Hospice application. Enjoy!

My son, upon his terminal diagnosis at birth was given a prognosis of only a few hours to live. We were told he would not survive the night. Though he did survive and is now almost 10, in the month that I spent with him in the NICU I had such strange and even wonderful experiences; celebrating his life, though it might end at any time. Rejoicing with other families as they took healthy children home and grieving with those who lost their babies. I cannot possibly know what it might have been like were I to have lost him. I do know acutely what it felt like to anticipate his death…and strangely enough to have had the felt experience of total acceptance in the wisdom of the universe, were he to die.

• Years ago, training in massage school, I read Medicine Hands by Gayle MacDonald, about giving massage to individuals with cancer. I was moved to tears, and felt a very strong urge to explore hospice volunteer work. Her take is that death is a force of nature that changes everyone it touches. She is also an advocate of of simply sitting and being with individuals undergoing palliative care…with no need to fix or change what is happening. Her writings resonated with my own experiences of both death and birth. I most see my role in hospice care as a good “sit-with-er” – just being in the presence of illness and death. I imagine there is also a lot of physical work involved? But I think my gift might be my work-horse durability and ability to be present for long periods of time.

• My uncle Michael has lived in a nursing home due to sever brain damage since before I was born. Growing up, my parents took me and my brother to visit him at least once each week. We also visited with the other residents; many had sever mental and physical limitations and altered appearances. My folks wanted us to feel accepting and comfortable with people who live and look differently, through illness and age. I cannot say that I am not still affected when I visit my uncle in the nursing home, but the environment feels familiar to me.

• I tend to take outright criticism personally. Solicited reflection and feedback works for me. But even when the criticism comes from an elderly individual, I may still feel hurt or charge.

• I think people should be as comfortable as they desire when nearing death. I understand that meditations, touch, visualizations and holistic therapies are immensely useful in pain management – and it is not my place to judge if or how a person chooses to be made comfortable.  I imagine that after a certain point, medical options for main management are very valuable.

• Western culture generally leaves little room or time for grieving. It feels quick and scheduled, medicated. Were it held in patience, in community, maybe parts of the grieving process never really end for those mourning the death of a loved one. If I were dying, I would grieve my own oncoming death. In reading Healing into Life and Death and some other books, it seems that forgiveness is a big part of the preparation for death and the grieving process. I have never lost someone I was close to, so I have never fully grieved a human life.

• As I mentioned in previous answers, I have just been specifically compelled toward hospice work through various life experiences. It also meets my desire for community and personal growth. As well, I have been present for births – there is something about the thresholds on either end of life that I am deeply moved by.

• The yearlong training appeals to my desire to dive in deep with and organization on a regular basis. The weekly shift arrangement totally works with my self-made schedule, and works well with my schedule as a parent – I have my son 50% of the time – and his father is also very flexible and supportive of my scheduling needs.

 “Be patient with all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves like locked rooms and like books that are written in a foreign tongue… the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.”
-Rainer Maria Rilke

Jessica Hadari – Founder of FEM Talks | Conscious Copywriter | Event Producer & Consultant | Officiant

My love is watching people transform in the arenas of relationships, communication and personal growth. I lead women’s circles and immensely enjoy leading and producing  fun gatherings and workshops. I am passionate about empowerment of women expressing ALL emotions in ways that serve their lives and their loved ones.

In my “other life” I am a Mom, master yoga teacher, master rebirther, holistic health practitioner, unconditional friend and nearly-fearless voice of reason in the Bay Area women’s communities.

JessicaHadari.com

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I am called to write a quickie about each hospice resident living at the Guest House right now. How each gifted me today

Thank you, thank you, thank you … my creative juice for writing has returned. I was getting worried. Thank you to Beth Barany, the Feb 2012 FEM Talks speaker for getting me flowing again.

Also, I just have to say; I resent having to change the names of the guests at the hospice house. Waaa! I wish I could use their real first names. It creates confusion in me for some reason…but I  understand and I will get over it.

“Jo” – The first thing I heard when I came into the house today, was a conversation in the kitchen, as the volunteer chef heard that the delicious breakfast had been thoroughly consumed by him. He had come to the house labeled “failure to thrive” and was not eating well, speaking and interacting … settling in.

How interesting it is to know and witness people, even at the end of their lives, flourish and blossom open here in this Guest House, like some kind of temple or place of healing. People heal into their deaths here.

“H” – H passed this morning during my shift. The new was brought out to us ladies — the nurses and women volunteers by Hanna the nurse coordinator. With tears in her eyes she shared the news. Like a crowd doing ‘the wave” I watched the visible affect stir our circle of women in the hallway at the nurses station. I felt like the wings of H’s soul fluttered all around and within each of us, stirring up whatever was there. Tears, remorse, gratitude, joy at her passing and freedom from her body.

An image of women as receptors, and our ability and birthright to be powerfully at the affect of all the passages of life.

“J” – J is swollen and uncomfortable. She is my age, with two children. As my fellow volunteer Jenny says, we are watching her soften. Even in her discomfort she is humorous and joking. There is a levity to her that was not there before. Blossoming in the guest House. She used to be hesitant to ask for what she needed and would then throw a tantrum and explode. Today she asked for eggs, pancakes and more. I think it is very healing for her to, perhaps for the first time in her life, get what she wants. Where can I ask for what I want more clearly and directly?

“R” – R is such a gem. It is easy for me to feel connected to this women who seems to be the archetypical grandmother to everyone here. She has always loved hug after hug. She is like a teddy bear. I see her decline and I take so much pleasure in feeding her and stroking her face and hugging her. I am reminded of all the little babies I get to care for these days. I am grateful. I will be sad when she passes, but today she seems more ready to go. She looked into my eyes at one point and whimpered as if to say “I am confused, I am uncomfortable.” I assured her that she can rest as much as she needs.

“O, to take what we love inside,
to carry within us an orchard, to eat
not only the skin, but the shade,
not only the sugar, but the days, to hold
the fruit in our hands, adore it, then bite into  
the round jubilance of peach.

There are days we live
as if death were nowhere
in the background; from joy
to joy to joy, from wing to wing,
from blossom to blossom to
impossible blossom, to sweet impossible blossom.”

excerpt of
From Blossoms, By Li-Young Lee

Jessica Hadari – Founder of FEM Talks | Conscious Copywriter | Event Producer & Consultant | Officiant

My love is watching people transform in the arenas of relationships, communication and personal growth. I lead women’s circles and immensely enjoy leading and producing  fun gatherings and workshops. I am passionate about empowerment of women expressing ALL emotions in ways that serve their lives and their loved ones. In my “other life” I am a Mom, master yoga teacher, master rebirther, holistic health practitioner, unconditional friend and nearly-fearless voice of reason in the Bay Area women’s communities.

JessicaHadari.com

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Creativity Coach & Publishing Maven, Beth Barany has been helping authors get their books written and edited, published and marketed into the hands of their readers for over 10 years. Beth is the author of The Writer’s Adventure Guide: 12 Stages to Writing Your Book, and the bestseller Overcome Writer’s Block, and runs an active online community for authors www.BethBarany.com

Here is just a slice of what I took away from Beth Barany’s presentation at the February 2012 FEM Talks (very much paraphrased and sprinkled with my own thoughts) Enjoy!

Your book project will require you get really honest and present to four main areas:

Passion – If you are going to commit to and finish your book project it really must be written about something you are passionate about. Writing a book solely as a marketing strategy or in a “should” paradigm may not only be dissatisfying or frustrating but may not be the success you want it to be because it is not a true reflection of your deepest gifts and passions. The audience will feel that. What are you passionate about? That seems like such a cliche question…but worthy of your attention.

Audience – We hear about getting clear on your niche which may or may not be important in your business. But knowing your book audience’s demographic (age, career. lifestyle) psychographic (religion, political views, philosophies) and also their
Needs
Desires/Wants
Fears

Good to know. Journal and be in inquiry about all of these areas before getting to the meat of your book.

Capability & Resources – I mixed these last two together, though Beth expounded on each. What tools, support and skill do you have or need to get your book done. Margaret Thatcher worked with a voice coach. Obama and Clinton have speech writers. CEOs have consultants and Non-Profit have boards of directors. What and who do you need to call upon to get you book done. Could you join a writers mastermind or support group? Do you need to research other authors of your genre?

Some other great book structure tips that she gave to us:

• Make sure your book cover is well designed and congruent with your book genre. Look at the top 10 books in your genre. If it worked for these best-selling authors, trust tat a similar style may work for your book too.

• The title of your book needs to capture your audience. Read this article from Beth’s blog website Writer’s Fun Zone – 3 Elements of a Good Book Title That Sells http://bit.ly/A5Szrr

• Guarantee that your book is well written by having multiple people edit and proofread it for you. You can request that they “please critique for clarity. Do not critique the plot” Have them look for

Inconsistencies
Clarity
Does the message come through?

Beth also talked extensively about how to self publish and publish immediately to Kindle and Nook formats on Amazon, etc.

Here are some websites she recommended. She talked about each in depth but I am simply listing them for easy reference.

Kindle / Amazon = KDP.com
Your work will need to be converted to a moby file

Nook – pubit.com
Requires epub file

iBook / Sony Reader = smashwords.com
Free. Can upload as word doc. You can also get your ISBN # here.

Print books – Beth recommends creatspace.com and also lightningsource.com

Beth’s thoughts about writers block and procrastination:

Writing begets writing. Write about your writers block. It can be your teacher. What is going on there? Procrastination is when you know what to say but are somehow afraid of just doing it. Before trying to skip over your block to write your book sit there for a while and see what wants to come through in your writing as you talk to the writers block itself. Write for 20 minutes per day, even if you are not writing toward your book. Just write – like meditation, it is a practice.

Beth Barany has been helping authors get their books written and edited, published and marketed into the hands of their readers for over 10 years. Four of her clients’ books have been bestsellers, including Writing Romance, When I Was There, Honest Medicine, and The Torah Codes.

Beth has been a columnist and editor at The National Networker, and a contributing author to several anthologies, including Creativity Coaching Success Stories. She also writes fantasy and paranormal novels. Her newly published novel is the award-winning young adult fantasy, Henrietta The Dragon Slayer.

Beth Barany currently lives in the San Francisco Bay Area with her husband, author Ezra Barany, and their two cats. On her off hours, she loves to do kick boxing, gardening and watch lots of movies. Her favorite city is Paris, France, where she visits as often as she can.

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It’s 2012…the year that has been touted as the end of the world. The end of the Mayan calendar. The apocalypse. Between hurricanes, earthquakes, tsunamis, and wars it can be easy to buy into the doom and gloom. (Insert ominous music here.)

Whether you believe in the predictions or not, one thing is certain: if you want to live your best year ever, live it as if it were your last risking, growing and stretching beyond your wildest dreams is required. And you’re going to have your Inner Critic to contend with. You got to go GREEN on your inner pollution.

You see, your Inner Critic’s job is to keep you safe, maintain the status quo and feed you Big Fat Lies to pollute your mind and keep you sleep walking. Why wait for the wake-up call, a near death experience or the world to end to break free? Let’s live today as if there is no tomorrow…and create 2012 a resolution revolution.

My name is Amy Ahlers, The Wake Up Call Coach and bestselling author of Big Fat Lies Women Tell Themselves; Ditch Your Inner Critic and Wake Up your Inner Superstar (New World Library,2011), and I’m here to help you ditch the Big Fat Lies that keep you from living your dreams and making 2012 the best year yet.

It’s a resolution revolution…now let’s bust through your inner pollution:

 Big Fat Lie #1: I’ll try

• The Truth: If you’re setting goals and resolutions and feeling like you’ll give it the good ole’ ‘college try,’ you are skirting commitment.

• Challenge: Do a litmus test: will you eat a food you hate if you don’t follow through?

Big Fat Lie #2: Focusing on my problems helps me solve them

• The Truth: You need to create your goals for the year from your Inner Wisdom, from what you want…from the solution.

• Challenge: First say what you don’t want to get the contrast, and then say what you DO want. Make sure you resolutions express your desire.

Big Fat Lie #3: I’m a failure

• The Truth: We all fail. Even though we just began the New Year you may have already fallen down on a goal. It’s time to learn how to process failing so that you know you’re NOT a failure

• Challenge: Look at the last failure you experienced and notice what you learned from it. Take the lesson and ditch the rest.

Whatever Big Fat Lies your Inner Critic is beating you up with, it’s time to lock in on the truth of how fabulous you are. It’s time to live like there is no tomorrow. In the words of writer Bonnie Friedman, “Why wait for a near-death experience when life itself is a near-death experience?”

* * *

AMY AHLERS, the Wake-Up Call coach and cofounder of the Inner Mean Girl Reform School, is the bestselling author of Big Fat Lies Women Tell Themselves: Ditch Your Inner Critic and Wake Up Your Inner Superstar. Visit her online at http://www.wakeupcallcoaching.com or http://www.bigfatliesbook.com

Based on the book Big Fat Lies Women Tell Themselves: Ditch Your Inner Critic and Wake Up Your Inner Superstar © 2011 by Amy Ahlers.

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